Mama, you are in the end who is?
1967 Mid-Autumn Festival, I just end up sitting near children, I ask my grandmother for allowing me to go out to Triple lost my eldest daughter to find. I intuitively think that every family today is Happy days, the whole family will enjoy the full moon out. I was standing front roof theater, which is triple the intersection of the crowd, I watched the coming and going of pedestrians. At this time, the distance has a lot of wild child, with an old woman the back, while booing, while picking up stones to throw her way, and this old woman holding a bamboo also frequently drive her wild child of these abuses.
old woman gradually to me in this direction over, I found this crazy old woman Fengdian Britain, to himself, sometimes commotion and barking, sometimes wailed, then a ragged dress, and even shame are concealing the body, from face to feet, dark and smelly , with the autumn wind, the kind of unbearable smell, so that pedestrians around, all picked up the handkerchief tightly over his nose to dodge around. Suddenly, this old lady came up to me a while cry: the foot. She seems a little hysterical, while shouting, while shouting, as if their loved ones died. At this time, passers-by to watch the increasing in number, I'm so embarrassed, but she hugged my legs, simply can not move. I said: Do not run again, and today must promise to go home with me, or I let them go, we forget the two piece die here! think about the matter sorted out what crazy logic to it? watch the people, increasing in number, they say that my daughter too hard, how even his mother could not recognize it? Moreover, their dress so beautiful, allows the grass so his mother ragged jacket, tattered it?
I think the situation is not good, they had promised the old woman and asked her to let go of my feet, I can walk home with her. I walked side by side with her, perhaps afraid that I slip away, she fastened my wrist all the way, because too much force, made me really hurts, but I dare not call, even if I have vomiting several times along the way, did not dare uh the slightest sound, I fear harm to this old lady, because she really is too meager. about an hour about it! We went to the triple of a large garbage dump. Her home is surrounded blocked a rag Small wind illegal, take in the garbage, whether it is lying, sitting, or cover, nothing can be said within. There are all kinds of unpleasant smell, everywhere dead dogs, dead cats, dead *, issue bursts Shixiu, so you can not stand, almost suffocating. the old woman turned her eyes with dirty hands of garbage, so kindly grabbed me and hugged me, cry, laugh, the kind of heartbroken moans almost broken liver , chilling. I did not expect, she has to such a tragic point Fengdian. I know, I can not stimulate her, I carefully down, she did not dare to flash flash, and wanted to hide did not dare hide. Can not find my daughter, I would like her tragic end it? old saying, her heart has been riddled with problems, can no longer tolerate minor damage, even if not attentive, too, of course, she also can not afford another serious blow to lose the baby girl. So, unless nothing about them, I This adorable little girl role, has become incumbent upon their job life. I think the compassion Chi Master intestine, and the teacher encouraged them peril sentence exhort, I know I am an old woman has responsibility. So, I decided on her lifetime, from acting as her baby daughter, to do their part of the can to comfort her, to her healing. I love how she casually on how to hug to hug, to hold to hold, I have no choice Now run into to obediently confessed. that day, I go very late. I called a number of face to the alley, feed her to eat. I told her, I want to go back with luggage, come back tomorrow with her life.
Back to the grandmother, the body bursts of foul, fell to countryman grandmother thought I was the excrement storage pool of water and fertilizer, and I nodded in silence, say nothing. That night, I have been vomiting until dawn, with yellow belly Huang Qingqing water, spit light. The next work, to the office, all our colleagues are still all over his nose, that I also had the unpleasant odor bursts, we call shouting, can not stand it! I public borrowing a sum of money, use the time to rest at noon rented a small house nearby, and buy some daily necessities, including blankets, clothes, wash basin, soap hh and so on. After work, I asked a kind-hearted colleagues help me, to drive to dump the old woman received a triple my rent in that small house. results met the old woman went so far back from the dead to not know a stranger to follow exactly the same, she does not I know it, I really was stunned. home, I asked some of my friends, they do not know why they only every night, he gave the kiss or hug the family forgot all about. Later, I and every day to stand in front of rooftop theater separated daughter waiting for me, and this old woman has passed the same place almost every day, but she again and again, only looked at me without a heart, to go no response to passed. where was I? think the cold weather every day, the total can not help but worry for her. However, crazy is crazy, what can? One day, as I stood in front of rooftop cinema, and this old woman to walk the same over, suddenly, she ran over a stride, so a good tight to hug me tight, hold me, and complained equally hysterical crying like a scene together. and I also have previous experience, obediently with her back to the garbage dump.
night the day, I still cried in the alley side of a hot bowl, cut a few slices of meat and spiced corned egg, and slowly feed her, so she was fed before leaving she said. : endure. grandmother did not understand why I so embarrassed. The next day, after work, I once again begged a kind-hearted colleague to accompany me to a garbage dump to pick her triple, but with the last time, she did not know me Who is related to the winter clothes, and would not let me change, was really stubborn and strong. so for several days, I was standing in front of rooftop cinema, and this old woman looked at me too or only to some reaction not to walked past. but she really afraid of the autumn wind blows it? One day, as I stood in front of roof theater, which rapidly and suddenly the old woman ran over, grabbed me and hugged me, and I have no choice to accompany her back to the garbage dump, she was cuddly, good warm tears dripping wet lines of my thick winter clothes. Of course, I still routinely called in the alley a big bowl of hot soup, a small dish meat and eggs, feed until after she left. However, late fall, she a so thin, how can I be willing to leave her? garbage dump empty space, blowing wind, especially cold, she really stand it? Back home, see my grandmother and a Smelly come back, so angry: This old woman remembered her, and this style is to wear the same clothes, with these clothes, I like her daughter. ah! I see. but this dress every time a stool covered with dirty, even if washed, they have to dry under the sun for several days in order to Chuijin bursts of odor, it does not change how the line?
I seem to know where the problem was. I'm so happy because I finally have the means to take her home . A week later, I and my colleagues went to triple dump kindness, because I wore it, and she is obsessed with clothes, she immediately recognize me, she was so happy, they hug and hold, not a human form almost cried , I do not have the heart, tempting to snuggle into her arms, and constant reassurance from her, and finally she agreed to come home with me, and I took her to that room I rent a small house. I should help her a bath, change clothes, then eat the same name point to feed her. That night, she lived down here. This evening, I keep to the morning, she slept well cooked, it's sweet, so serene. my eyes kept watching her, I can not help but cry. Alas! wonderful thing, but there are still so poor man!
me this dress, is the only token to save the old woman, so I wash every day, immediately Quick with a hot dry iron, then close at hand at any time to prepare to take care of the old woman, the mother and daughter used to recognize. I asked a old lady (referring to nanny), all-weather take care of her for me, I made small soft language to tell her once again: As long as my daughter. She asked me to help her bathe, change clothes, massage, Cayao, and asked me to take her out shopping and walking. I think my baby daughter should be the only family she is darling meat. Maybe live in garbage dumps for too long, not health, she is a sick and very bad temper. Occasionally Sometimes, she, like normal people, but most of the time, is insanity to frequent attacks. I have repeatedly beaten her knees suffer until she was satisfied before they agree to Ganxiu. Every time I beat a while, she always questioned me: back, Look at the mess, after still dare? poor enough. I think maybe her belly full of grievances, vent to the earlier light, the sooner she can clear, I'm looking forward yo! Really, flesh to endure the pain points, and What is it? when every time I take a beating , or scolded, I have knees, crying, while an apology, but again apologize, once again admit to so many times I find that she began to have a trace of a smile. She seems to already know how to laugh. all these years, I used to get black and blue, but I see her normal day to day, I always feel very happy, very worth it. I am suffering from thalassemia from the urine of terminal illness, often ranked iron to blood transfusion. But once I forgot to blood transfusions, actually because of the lack oxygen syncope and became a vegetable, lying in the mortuary for a whole eleven months before regaining consciousness. At that time, all my relatives thought I was dying, did not expect. I was a vegetable of the day this is not the death of consciousness, of course, This old woman has money and living off the regular financial aid, and invited the women to spend money to see a row of missing many months I also take leave. I regained consciousness after, to that small house, already Another rented to others, and that I do not know the whereabouts of the old woman has. I have been to many times triple dump, can not find her, ask to the police unit, as there is no message, even if the missing person report, and no below. On this old woman, I still do not know who she is, I do not know who her daughter. In the past, I had requested police service agencies to help search around her family, but for many years, that message did not.
I asked her: nonsense to ask also ourselves. Fortunately, the girl has that hard, I was finally in Taipei at a remote suburban landfill surprised to find her, but the poor, she has been ill and very sick, dying, and thin, and haggard. She is much to see me, good or happy, barely struggling to get up again, hold me tight, as they hug and hold, very mournful crying tragic, chilling. It seems these days She really suffered a lot of grievances. I still have the habit of snuggling in her arms, comfort her, and immediately in Matsuyama rented a house near the foot of the mountain, bring her back to the care of their own. I tried my best, and Western doctors sent for wise to her treatment. She did not name, no identity card, no labor, expensive medical expenses, care expenses, several times, almost made me bankrupt, but I can not tell if she is someone else's Mama, or I own a Mother was. about five years or so, she sick in bed, paralyzed, not able to pick back up with the virus, has high fever, a lot of mess caused by complications, the doctor was so helpless subjects, I transferred again transferred, to find ways to seeking a miracle, hoping to have a reincarnation of the famous doctor Hua Tuo, can really save her. I asked the holidays and obviously waited at the bedside, with her, serve her, not at Chennai , the day I do not I still sue pharmaceutical Wang Xiao. 1981, she finally fell in my arms, firmly grasp my hand, swallowed her last breath, and reluctantly passed away. I call heaven should not, grab by anyone, but was crying in the corner of sorrow, on behalf of her daughter, for her to do the funeral, and in accordance with provincial customs, mourning for her. tombstone: tomb. miss her, and often dreamed of her, if she is my indispensable part of life, but the tree leaves are still, while the wind blows, remorse, what is the use? our mother and daughter, has separated out. Chao Du, I cried and asked the way things Dojo Master: She'll recognize me not her real daughter? she will know she is called Anonymous it? faint souls can return to her own relatives and family around you ? Maybe she was back in the day, then back clear, what is clear already, of course, she would no longer wanted me, I received seventeen seventeen, the year after year to worship her, so also useful? this life, except my grandmother, she should be in this world hurt me the most is the most real people I love. She's cuddly, Fufu touch, so I know what a mother's hand, what is the mother's heart . flexor calculate, I cherished her a total of about fourteen years old. Unfortunately, the middle of eleven months I became a vegetable, so she was again living on the garbage dump, and terminal one, otherwise, she will be happier old age , also will be able to live longer. Although, I do not know her real age, but her daughter is roughly the age I am pretty, plus she is so old, I should be at least three years old it long!
not few people have asked me, who is she? I said firmly, she is a mother of my own, but who is she in the end, I really have no idea. these ten years from morning till evening, I have only one point is absolutely identified, which I can really know, she and I blood, is the intimate gratifying mother, is Mama, and I was her long lost daughter filial!
recharge one: to write this article, drops of whole manuscript is full of tears, but I tolerate the grief inside, finish it.
meeting note two: I am taking care that the elderly, after about fourteen years. early as the ninth year from the first year to , while the latter was the tenth to the fourteenth year. before the attack because of mental disorder often caused neighbors fear, often spotted. However, she unsolicited, nor any identity documents, there is no way to transfer public shelters, and even if this patient also refused neurology hospital. I tell these people, she just listen to my daughter, and if I'm not her, she would frequently attack, and Fengfengdiandian, very dangerous, who have little control her, including her own. her bad temper, very anxious, With hatred against anyone, even terrifying. I used to think: I was her daughter, her pain, so it seems to me there are measured attack, However, my daughter had been almost unbearable, let alone outsiders, or neuropathy homes or shelters, there will be who can withstand her attacks and vulgar completely mad evil? I heard that neurology hospital are accustomed to using electric shocks to subdue This nerve disorder patients. but she is my Mama, how can there be under the sun to his biological mother sent her daughter to the cruel shock outsiders? mother and daughter with heart, when electricity ** Mom, I really will not hurt her daughter the body it? this, and I in the district and such officers and neighborhood disputes for a long time, I do not let the old people to leave me. ask if she is the mother of your own, you really willing to put her to the shelter, hospital, and let her poor situation of unaccompanied, alone being torn oppressed strangers? Let her be an electric shock? She is my mother is my mother, even if she was crazy to not know who he is , it was also my mother. she crazy, but I mad? She may not know, but I do not know?
meeting note three: always hopes, always perseveres, hope and love, and the largest of which is: there is love. God earnestly warned us: the heart without love is blind; eyes no love is blind. main role is the world is bright, blind blind man on the heart is still always the dark, painful life are never on the road to explore.
recharge four: no love for strangers, which may only landfill in the elderly, all of the disdain of the smelly garbage. But between her and me, because each there is love, all the lack of, are completely natural to become so successful. Love is God, not man, so people will go crazy, love is not madness. her daughter's love, not only very real, and deep, it is shocking It is worthy of my life yearning good mother, the Virgin is the embodiment of my mind. Her death row for many years that I almost cry every night until dawn.
God no eyes?
one thousand nine hundred eighty-one , about May and June, the weather is hot. 想出去走走 children, and I would also like to take the opportunity to go to bookstores to find some Japanese handicrafts newly published materials. We passed the Bank of Hengyang Road corridor, suddenly came out of a gentlemen, I give him to fortune, I shook my head, and waved his hand, repeatedly refused him, and did not think this guy has become so depressed, it seems too awkward. eldest daughter (note) do not have the heart, then pulling my Hand: never had any good impression, but the children's compassion good, so I can not leave anyone to die, had to pull to let the children telling the old man's booth. telling the old man looked me for a long time, read my hands, but also a One saw my hands each child. He said: This telling of the old man some money. I took out three thousand more to purse his hands respectfully offer a thin device, but the old man better than I insist, he will not accept my money, so that a to, almost crying children to the emergency. Finally the children begging the old man together, this is not a fortune teller told him the money, this is only the children a little bit of honor his little old heart fills.
this fortune old man was finally closed down, and suddenly the two eyes were red to touch the children's head, he cried, he muttered to mutter: the children say goodbye to him, and he waved, but said nothing, looking very sad. Later, we pass the new park and found the gate surrounding a large group of people. join in the fun the kids love, they catch a stride on the go, into the wall to adults caught. did not take long, the children ran back to see me dead lift. I always feel that people do not go much better place, but the children have been arguing forever, I had to follow to view What. the original, a lady kneeling on the ground, to you for help, her child had an accident in National Taiwan University Hospital, requires a huge sum of money. I have these precious children and get away, and they must want me out hand, also told the wife: all to Taoguang, and also to the adjacent open flow of the optical line of customers large sum of money, to accompany his wife to the National Taiwan University Hospital that paid large medical expenses owed. these things are completed when the children finally agreed to let me : , the walls covered with every piece of our family, I'm afraid of stepping on their ranks, and quickly bought a twenty Zhang benches, the discharge section of a broad road, spread over the sugar and other food, but also sprinkle a little water, to reward them march all the way Jia Zuoke my hard work. children are covered with dense to see the whole house of ants, so scared, even the office lady, very afraid. But the kids are very obedient, not hurt them, did not dare disturb them. children know , but also the whole stay at home, and I kept constantly busy, the total can not spare time with the kids vacation, had to find the office lady to help care for the children's schoolwork and daily life.
One day, I went to a meeting . TV is broadcast news. It is said that the heart of Taipei, by love road, is undergoing a big fire, very fierce. Because I was the chair, there is no way distracted to listen to what went well in the end what happened. until the afternoon about four, we closing, I just love to watch the colleagues with, went to the fire scene. on the road, I asked colleagues to drive, Why to my home away? asleep. I have a open eyes, wow suddenly cried out: I am. sluggishly, can not touch, but also expanded to not open. firefighter force cracking the door, kicking down, we carefully sideways flash inside. which are all smoke, do not see anything, I cry out loud shouting children names, one by one call, but that did not sound. This time, I have quick feet tingling people fainted, I really crazy, I really barely. Suddenly, the firefighters walked into a groups of people, the original, my children cuddle up into a ball on the ground shocked when they heard of the books bought back the heap, the office lady is lying on the other end. firemen, police, and I, together took the child and the back office under Ms. Building aid. Fortunately, choking injury not serious, day of night, it is totally back awake. firefighters said, burned the floor is so hot, even the books are burned, if shocked when they heard directly on the floor, the All children should become a focal body can not possibly survived. firefighter, said: one, from the first floor, second floor until the top floor, but also the whole burnt. but it accidentally, but skip the third floor of our fire family. firefighter, said: This building filled with smoke, like water just could not clearly have the third floor of the house, as if lost, so that the House did not drip even sprayed a half. I think I house the precious collection of more than ten million copies, if the spray of water, today, I lost everything, but it Jia Zuoke ants all the way to come to me, the powerful army, it shall all die, it is too poor. and closely adjacent all around the building on fire, the walls of my house, and the angle steel shelf full height Kaobi blanching soft, smoke all the books are burned out, but does not burn. firefighter said: burn, then my family might have to live on it? my house is full is full of books, this is most likely to fire the paper Yeah!
rushing crowd of people rushed to tell reporters: the smoke disappeared, and in the smoke, you can see people wearing white clothes and watering in the air, and fire poke. , placed three large steel cylinder gas cylinder, fire, the big steel cylinder under high heat melted into a ball the whole group in the ball, but why did not explode? If exploded, our home and office four children, Miss, would not all pieces! I heard, the entire back all cool, a cold sweat, really good insurance yo!
September school, teaching children to buy the piano, we have together to Hengyang Road. As we passed the Bank of the corridor when suddenly sprang in front of an old man with open arms, once holding the children clinging tightly, very excited, very surprised and asked: r his iron mouth bluntly, I did not half hit the children, after this summer, all children will have died in the fire cave and die. He saw my children are very kind and compassionate, so do not think God is too long eyes, the day we left, he can not even cry to shut the shop and go home. He was very reluctant to me these kids die. but helpless, helpless. because more No Qi, took him as his own grandfather now! he is so hurt you, you have loved so fondly. maybe because of his tears, you have these children survived to today, and lucky to live down. That year, yet my biggest primary school children, the youngest not yet into the kindergarten, two women and two men, a total of four. Finally, on the books piled on the floor, kids hate our family, and often block the way they really out of the way. But these books are my life to help the old book stalls, a difficult old man, spent his unsold books, full to the package down, so that he could not bear to throw the elderly, and unwanted , move onto the next day, and get too tired myself, hurt the body. did not think these books have saved us a size five lives.
person's life, there are always unexpected accidents matter completely unable to do a reasonable explanation, perhaps this is what we were talking about God! So, who's business plan calculations, often fail, often unwise, because people always forget that God also has a count. my life, all the way came a deep insight into the person's small, I think people do not be too complacent, not too self, but can not be too confident. After all, people still do not see God, and God is, but well aware of. What is man? < br> Note: in 1981, my daughter has not yet found, so only two men and two women, when the eldest daughter, later the second daughter.
bound feet
when doctors can not declare my non-amputation when first thought flashes into my mind, that is, I'm so sorry I hurt, such as life grandmother. my grandmother was born rich family in the Qing Dynasty, from the urine of the lotus feet wrapped like matchboxes, and she always adhere to the elderly, As a girl, bound feet must be considered as good and decent woman, also regarded as a lady Traditional rules and family laws to two feet ancestors wrapped into a standard ladies, be worthy of Chen's house style, and can not disgrace. In particular, I suffered from severe anemia similar to leukemia, if not wrapped feet, Heaven and Earth will be committed taboo, and not make a living. At the time, is the period of Japanese rule in Taiwan, the Japanese government strictly prohibited girls bound feet, and offenders face heavy punishment. Grandma thought for his own granddaughter was his chores bound feet, can God do not know, ghosts do not feel, therefore, just-do, began to strip of cloth wrapped around me, bubble solution, wear out my legs wrapped tightly. However, I have severe anemia, to hold a regular basis to the hospital blood transfusion, have access to public places, the natural curiosity of people will soon be found wrapped in my grandmother's foolish behavior of feet, and made to the police report. Grandma was often caught by the police the police station, but the grandmother did not give up, again and again and wrapped wrapped , is simply to annoy the police adult, he warned her that if repeated, with regard to repeat offenders punished, sentenced her heavy penalty. Grandma was sad yo!
the recovery of Taiwan, and grandmother was very happy, because the Japanese finally gone, She is free to love as their own granddaughter had bound feet. 1945, I began to enter primary school, day school, two feet long, bindings wrapped around the toes almost as soaked in alum water, rotten. Primary teachers look at me Sometimes, very strange, it was found but there are still people in this age granddaughter for bound feet, it is amazing, they sued another into the police station, accused of abusing sick grandmother young children, has no conscience. grandmother's wishes and bathing , and it is sad. elementary school or junior high school. grandmother said: grandmother and for my long legs wrapped in white cloth wrapped around the bar, and the same soaking solution, and then squeeze my feet into a ball hard, so that left and right foot, in addition to the big toe, the other four toes are, and together, twisting pressure under the foot, ankle foot arch up and then, with the old coins fixed to reduce the length. grandmother, very carefully, very painstaking, very careful. After all, my granddaughter is only a little hope in her life, she really wanted me to be lucky lady, the future can enjoy the splendor, she was very hard, as long as things make me happy, she must strive for in the end. my feet every day, deformation, and grandmother very happy, great sense of accomplishment. And I see grandmother very happy, I am also pleased to severe pain all wrapped wrapped around to the out the window the whole. let the summer end, we have reopened. instructors and classmates thought I was a fall or sprain feet, almost impossible to stand on your feet up, there are family members held on, still swaying. Later, the teacher was reluctant to be such a good student of my suffering, he called me to the clinic, please make a detailed examination DOCTOR teachers. This school doctor teacher untie my feet bandages, found that even the bindings are bound feet, good or angry, cursed: grandmother wrote to the police affidavit, which promise to never do such silly things. I see my grandmother very disappointed, very sad, I am very disappointed, very sad. I told the teacher: are willing to be, not to mention bound feet is not a bad thing, one is willing to fight, one would like to change, why not? Enzhongrushan, as deep as the sea, and I was ten years old, although small adults, and not even the ability to repay did not even let my grandmother had bound feet was the greatest aspiration of all twists and turns, can not successfully realized, too Sorry Grandma. I told my grandmother, then eighteen years I, when I become, there were acts of self ...
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